Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
where are you?
Hypothermia
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
