I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
