white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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