I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He has the fingertips of a God
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