oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
