Bisexual people are plain selfish.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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