why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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