But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
