Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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