some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
