i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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