hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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