id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize