Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Jerry, you need to find god
Duck Duck Cougar?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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