And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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