Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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