I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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