...so i touched it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
