I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize