So drunk its hurt
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
