I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
