She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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