I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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