He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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