Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
