Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
