Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My vagina is officially offended.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
