Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
