Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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