i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
