Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
