I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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