Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
