Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
