I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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