Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
