i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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