love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
