dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
