is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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