I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's get the cat blown out
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
