I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
