i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
