i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
