A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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