my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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