Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
