it wasn't lemon gatorade
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
