he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
