I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
