I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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