The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
