What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
