is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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