i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
