what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize