Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize