He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
